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Dear TBZ Community,
This week we read Parashat Yitro. In this Torah portion, the central story, of course, is Revelation: thunder and lightning, Mount Sinai trembling, and the receiving of Torah and the Ten Commandments. But interestingly enough, before we arrive at Sinai, before the drama of this core moment in our story as a people, we read a story that seems disconnected from what comes after.
Yitro, Moses’s father-in-law, arrives at the Israelite camp in the wilderness. Moses welcomes him and, as they greet each other, וַיִּשְׁאֲלוּ אִישׁ־לְרֵעֵהוּ לְשָׁלוֹם – each asked after the other’s welfare. Moshe shares what has just happened:
וַיְסַפֵּר מֹשֶׁה לְחֹתְנוֹ אֵת כָּל אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה ה׳ לְפַרְעֹה וּלְמִצְרַיִם עַל אוֹדֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל, אֵת כָּל הַתְּלָאָה אֲשֶׁר מְצָאָתָם בַּדֶּרֶךְ וַיַּצִּלֵם ה׳
Moses told his father-in-law all that the Holy One had done to Pharaoh and to Egypt for Israel’s sake, all the hardships that had befallen them on the way, and how God had delivered them. (Exodus 18:8).
Moses tells his father-in-law about the challenges along the way and how God has saved them from the Egyptians.
To which Yitro responds:
וַיִּחַדְּ יִתְרוֹ עַל כָּל הַטּוֹבָה אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה ה׳ לְיִשְׂרָאֵל
And Yitro rejoiced over all the good that the Holy One had done for Israel (Exodus 18:9).
Yitro’s response is surprising, as he mirrors the experience but switches the meaning. Instead of focusing only on the hardship, he recognizes the miracle. The Torah uses a striking word here: וַיִּחַדְּ – vayichad. This word has different meanings: it can mean “rejoiced,” but it can also mean “to sharpen,” “to grow sharp.” The same word appears in Proverbs:
בַּרְזֶל בְּבַרְזֶל יָחַד, וְאִישׁ יַחַד פְּנֵי רֵעֵהוּ
As iron sharpens iron, so a person sharpens the face of another (Proverbs 27:17).
The rabbis use this verse in the Talmud as the very essence of chevruta, sacred partnership in learning, and the Talmud teaches:
כְּשֵׁם שֶׁבַּרְזֶל מְחַדֵּד אֶת הַבַּרְזֶל, כָּךְ תַּלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים מְחַדְּדִין זֶה אֶת זֶה בַּהֲלָכָה
Just as iron sharpens iron, so scholars sharpen one another in Torah (Ta’anit 7a).
Read this way, one could hear Yitro’s response as one of support. He hears the story of the journey out of Egypt and the hardships along the way, but as he mirrors it back, he does it with a subtle shift in perspective, helping Moses see the kindness, the goodness, the miracle of that moment. He says: Wow, look around! What an amazing miracle! You are here! A perspective that perhaps Moses cannot yet embrace.
And then he does one more thing that requires real courage and real love when he sees the long hours Moses is working,
וַיַּעֲמֹד הָעָם עַל־מֹשֶׁה מִן־הַבֹּקֶר עַד־הָעָרֶב
from morning until evening. Yitro says to him (Exodus 18:13)
וַיֹּאמֶר חֹתֵן מֹשֶׁה אֵלָיו: לֹא־טוֹב הַדָּבָר אֲשֶׁר אַתָּה עֹשֶׂה
Moses’s father-in-law said to him: What you are doing is not good (Exodus 18:17).
But then he keeps going. Yitro does not leave Moses alone in the lo tov (not good). He doesn’t simply criticize. He offers a way forward, teaching Moses about shared leadership, delegation, a system that allows the work to continue without breaking the one who carries it:
נָבֹל תִּבֹּל גַּם־אַתָּה גַּם־הָעָם הַזֶּה אֲשֶׁר עִמָּךְ כִּי־כָבֵד מִמְּךָ הַדָּבָר לֹא־תוּכַל עֲשֹׂהוּ לְבַדֶּךָ
You will surely wear yourself out, and these people as well. For the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone (Exodus 18:18).
The message is simple and profound: you cannot do this alone.
A moment before the story of receiving Torah, there is a story about collective leadership, about relationship-building, and about trust in one another. Relationships need to come first, or at least as a foundation, to receive Torah.
There is a midrash (commentary) in the Babylonian Talmud, in the tractate of Shabbat 88b–89a, that imagines the angels protesting when Torah is about to be given. They complain to God: Why give Torah to human beings? Why not to us? And God responds with direct proof that what is in Torah is a response to human beings’ needs:
Do you work and need rest?
Do you live in families?
Do you feel jealousy, anger, desire?
Do you struggle with power, with responsibility, with how to treat one another?
God asks the angels: do you need this message, this covenant? Commandment by commandment, God shows the angels that Torah is not written for beings who live outside of complexity, but for human beings who live inside the messiness of the world. Torah, the midrash teaches, responds to human need, not to angelic perfection.
As I put these two teachings together – the relationship between Yitro and Moses, and the understanding of Torah as a guiding principle for human beings – I see this Torah about relationships, chevrutah, partnerships. We are in partnership with each other, with Torah, and with God. Torah is not meant to be carried alone; the work, the joyful journey, and the hardship are also not to be carried alone. And this feels very important at a time when we struggle to figure out how to walk through the messy journey of this reality, in our country and in the world.
I have just returned from almost ten days in Israel, where I spent a week studying at the Hartman Institute as part of my three-year fellowship of rabbis from across North America, alongside colleagues from Israel. Rabbis from different cities and states, different denominations, different political views, different backgrounds, gather to study Torah and wrestle with the urgent questions of our time: leadership, responsibility, the present and future of the Jewish people, Israel, and the countries we live in. It was a time of deep learning, joyful singing, moments of heartbreak, and, of course, good food. In a deep way, I feel that what we practiced reflected the teaching of Yitro. We mirrored one another’s experiences. We helped one another see forward, sometimes more hopefully, sometimes more honestly. We sharpened one another. And we reminded one another that this work must be sustainable, or it will not last. We encountered Torah as a response to the needs of our messy and complicated lives.
I feel profoundly blessed by that experience.
And I want to highlight how urgent this teaching feels right now for all of us. We cannot do this work alone – not the work of leadership, not the work of justice, not the work of hope. We need to look into one another’s eyes and remind each other of beauty in the midst of suffering, pain, and injustice. We need one another to offer feedback when it is needed, and compassion always. We need one another to push each other to become the best versions of ourselves, so that the work does not consume us. We need one another to receive Torah, from the place of our imperfections.
This is why community matters.
Why belonging matters.
Why connection matters.
Why our engagement with Torah is crucial at this time.
The work of collaboration – of chevruta, of partnership – is perhaps one of the most urgent spiritual practices of our time. We cannot hide under the table. We cannot retreat to the corners of our homes and simply wait this out.
Like Moses, we need our Yitros.
And like Yitro, we are called to be that presence for others.
And like the mere human beings of the midrash, we need Torah.
May we rejoice, and sharpen, one another.
May we help each other see the good without denying the pain.
And may we receive Torah, again and again, through the sacred work of showing up for one another.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rav Claudia